I am a bit of a traditionalist in that I usually write my blog posts down on paper first and then copy them onto here. I have several notebooks that I keep scattered around my house, truck and purse for those spur of the moment brilliant writing moments. (At least I’d like to think they are brilliant.) There is just something about physically writing, editing, scribbling out, drawing arrows to move sentences that I enjoy. Traditional may not be the right word… I think I’m down-right old-fashioned. Because I write on a whim, there are some entries that are left partially undone until another brilliant idea pops into my head and then the two become one. In the case of this blog, the three have become one.
Recently my husband and I have been facing a tremendous amount of set backs on our plans. One of which was so stressful I had a mild panic attack about two months ago. We are finally getting to a point where we are ready to make some big changes in order to get closer to owning a home. But every time we take a step towards those plans something else prevents us from doing that. I have two entries written in a notebook about said topic and am now adding the ideas that pop into my head as I type on the computer. Old-fashioned meets current times I guess.
Let me start from the beginning…
I am at the point in my life where I want a home. I have been renting for almost 11 years. In those 11 years, I have moved 15 times. The longest I have ever lived in one place is our current home, and that is approaching 2 1/2 years. So from the age of 18-(almost) 29, I have packed my belongings 15 times and settled somewhere else. Nomadic living was fun for the first 5 years, but year 6 came marriage and baby so moving became a lot more difficult. Our oldest just turned 4 and she has already had 3 “homes.” It is becoming exhausting. I am at the age where settling down is a HIGH priority.
However, having a farm makes our needs unique and specific. My husband being the farmer has VERY specific needs when it comes to property. I just want lots of land, big beautiful trees and to be able to see the sunset.
Having this desire to find a home has been somewhat difficult to harness. Zillow has become my BFF, and then I realize what we need (minimum 5 acres with or without a home/ability to build etc) is way outside our budget. Housing prices are incredibly high in Florida right now. At this point frustration sets in.
My husband and I talk about buying but setting a goal for next year still seems unattainable. I have no idea how we are going to buy anytime soon. Prices for land and homes is so much cheaper out-of-state but then we would be leaving family and friends. I’m not a fan of that.
So with no way to keep renting and afford a home we have made a plan. We are going to move into an awesome camper on his parents property with the animals, save money and hopefully buy a home sooner rather than later.
I know a camper with two kids sounds kind of crazy, but as of now that is the only way. One of those live like no one else so you can live like no one else situations. Hope it pays off.
SIKE… And here comes brilliant writing moment #2.
During the time I wrote the previous entry my husband and I were facing a financial set back. We were within 1 week of applying for a loan for a camper, but something happened to where we couldn’t do that. This set back has lasted a month, and is the final stages now.
A week ago a wonderful opportunity presented itself… (This wonderful opportunity (basically living rent free) is no longer available either. But instead of throwing said opportunity giver under a bus by writing what I wrote in my entry I will leave that part of the entry out.) …The financial set back had caused me so much stress and frustration. I had to tell myself that something this bad could only have happened to allow something good to happen.
My second entry ended with this… One time I was driving home from a tutoring lesson. I was talking to God saying “I know you have bigger plans for us. I know you do everything for a reason. Please let this stress have a silver lining.” Sometimes set backs are a way for God to hit pause on your plans so He can give you a better option.
Set back #1: Financial upheaval
Set back #2: Agreements Broken
Set back #3: Cannot get a loan to buy a camper (not enough history aka we don’t have credit cards because we don’t like playing that game so we just pay cash… which means we don’t get loans.)
The last two months have been incredibly emotional. I have cried more than I care to admit. I have screamed at the top of my lungs while alone just to get out the pent-up frustration. I have prayed and begged God for guidance and patience. I have asked why but also thanked Him for teaching me to relax and go with the flow. I honestly just don’t know.
Yesterday is when we received our final no on the camper loan. I honestly feel worse for my husband than I do not getting the thing. We will continue to rent, continue to farm, continue to run my business, continue to live our lives happily with our girls. We will continue to work hard to make our dreams a reality. We will continue to be thankful for the roof over our head and our great landlord. We will continue to thrive.
I don’t know when my dream of no longer renting will come true. But, I will stop fixating on it so that I can live in the here and now more peacefully. I will remember that everything is done in His time and His plan is so much greater than mine.